glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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