WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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