Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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