i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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