As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
