his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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