I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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