i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
