so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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