Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
