dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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