please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
