Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This baby is an asshole
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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