I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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