help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
