It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
