can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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