I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
