Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
