too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
