he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
