the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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