He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
