Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
