Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
