dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
