just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Mom said you looked used
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
