garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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