Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize