You're so nebulous sometimes
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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