DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
