We won't sleep together?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My dick has a subreddit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
