omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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