Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
