I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
