Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
