you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
