my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
