...so i touched it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
