Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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