Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
