i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
