I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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