so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
