Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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