I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
