so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize