so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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