There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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