Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
