I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I fill condoms, not promises.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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