Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
