we're blogging at a bar
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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