He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
