Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
