At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i already hear my dad disowning me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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