I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
