My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
