my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
