They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
