She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
