I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
