What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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