I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
