Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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