Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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