i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
