I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
