me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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