the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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