Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize