I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
