Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
