Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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