he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
